


Tears and Hope

by faithfulviewer (malfoytheunanxious)



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Character, Bisexuality, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Episode: s10e12 The Doctor Falls, F/F, Female Friendship, Friendship, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Character of Color, Lesbians in Space, Memories, Minor Twelfth Doctor/Clara Oswin Oswald, Post-Episode: s10e12 The Doctor Falls, Spoilers, Spoilers for Episode: s10e12 The Doctor Falls, whouffaldi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 16:50:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11422119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malfoytheunanxious/pseuds/faithfulviewer
Summary: (SPOILERS for Doctor Who 10x12 'The Doctor Falls'.)In a galaxy far far away, by chance, Clara and Bill meet. Because it's a big universe, but sometimes the right people just find each other.“The Doctor has always had an eye for the pretty girls, hasn't he?” Bill said, playful.Heather grabbed Bill's hand and held it tight. “Oh, don't start,” she scolded her jokingly.“Don't worry, Bill.” Clara winked at her. “We can have a good flirt later when your girlfriend is not looking.”“Is that a promise, Clara?” she replied, raising the corner of her mouth.“For now, just tell me where the Doctor is.” Clara took a deep breath. “I need to see him one last time.”





	Tears and Hope

**Summary:**  In a galaxy far far away, by chance, Clara and Bill meet. Because it's a big universe, but sometimes the right people just find each other.

**A/N:**  Spoilers for Doctor Who Series 10 finale,  _The Doctor Falls_.

 

* * *

 

_**Tears and Hope** _

 

Clara Oswald politely brushed past the crowd and reached the clear. Hundreds of people were filling up the narrow alley lined with stands and booths. They had all gathered there for the big occasion, like every thousand years or so. The Festival of Offerings. Or the New Festival of Offerings, now celebrating freedom and the death of parasite gods, singing songs of the most important leaf in human history.

Clara didn't know exactly how much time had passed since her first visit to Akhaten, but it certainly felt like four and a half billion years. Still, it was fitting to go back to the first alien planet she had visited now that her journey was coming to an end.

She had decided to revisit every place where she had been with the Doctor. Her excuse was to share her memories with Me, but in reality Clara hoped that she could find the Doctor there. The subconscious memory of Clara still lived hidden somewhere in the Doctor's brain, and maybe one day it would drive him to one of the places they had visited together in the past. If she kept revisiting the same places, maybe they could bump into each other again.

Me finally emerged from the crowd behind Clara with a little struggle. Clara glimpsed at her immortal companion, her eyes were as wide as the moon, filled with the million billion alien species and goods that populated the market. Despite being old as the Universe itself, she was happy as a child, and Clara suddenly felt so old, because none of that could surprise her anymore. The universe was far less exciting without the Doctor at her side.

Yet, she forced a smirk as she had learned to do over time, and turned to face Me. "So, what to you think?" she asked her, teasing.

"I think..." the girl stumbled, "it's beautiful. You always bring me in the most remarkable places."

Clara moved her gaze to the market, and analyzed the passersby, their colorful clothes, their peculiar languages. But amid all that noise, she could only think of how weary she was and how tired she was. Maybe she had seen enough. Maybe it was time. After all, she had always been so human. Immortality wasn't for her.

A nearby seller was barking and snarling, some costumers were shouting in reply, and finally a sound grabbed her attention. It was something different. Something so utterly human, as she was. A sentence. In English.

"... wonder if the Doctor has ever been here..."

Clara quickly looked around herself, disoriented, trying to locate the source of the voice. She tried to filter out all the alien noise. Who had spoken?

"The Doctor has been everywhere", another female voice replied, closer. Definitely English. But who was the Doctor they were talking about? Was he  _her_  Doctor?

Clara swung her head in the other direction, still searching greedily among the crowd. Me noticed the look in her eyes and apprehensively asked her, "What is it?"

"Shush!" Clara hissed back raising a finger to her lips, eyebrows clenched together, eyes stretching out towards the end of the alley.

"Now he can finally rest in his TARDIS..." mumbled the first voice in a sadder tone, growing fainter again. The woman said TARDIS. No doubt now. She wasn't talking about any random doctor. She was talking about the Doctor Doctor.

Clara spun around again, Me followed her gaze to try to understand the reason of her concern. Then Clara noticed them. Two human-looking girls, walking hand in hand on the other side of the street, only a couple of meters away.

"Can't believe that I'll never see the Doctor again..." said the girl wearing a jeans jacket, dark skin, unruly curly hair. When she tilted her head, Clara could see tears piling up in her big, brown eyes.

Clara hadn't a clue of who she might be. She only knew that she had to reach her before the girl disappeared again. She started to run, jostling against the crowd, her legs fueled by energy that she had thought long lost. Now she wasn't tired anymore. She was hopeful. This was her only chance to see the Doctor again, and say a last goodbye to him.

Me shouted and rushed after her despite the resistances of the irritated crowd of shoppers. When she surfaced on the other side of the street, Clara had already stopped the black girl.

Clara grabbed the stranger by her arm abruptly, forgetting her manners. "Do you know the Doctor?" she demanded, panting.

The black woman jumped and shook her arm, trying to free herself. "Woah, excuse me, who exactly are you?" she retorted, staring at Clara in alarm. The blonde girl at her side tensed up.

Clara let the curly woman go and lowered her hand, but she didn't have time to apologize. "Do you know the Doctor?" she repeated, equally agitated.

The black girl recognized the eagerness and anxiety in her eyes, and understood that Clara wasn't a menace. But why was this stranger in the street asking her about the Doctor? She realized she had one simple way to discover whether she could trust her or not.

"Clara, what is going on?" Me tried to calm her down in vain.

"Do you know the Doctor or not?" Clara asked again, shaking in excitement.

"Doctor who?" the other woman asked back, squinting. Clara started, and that was enough confirmation.

"Yes,  _him_ ," Clara urged her to answer. "He doesn't have a name, but do you know him?"

"No, you're wrong, he has a name," the other replied, relaxing her shoulders and attempting a half-smile. "His name is Doctor Who."

Clara relaxed a bit too, amused by the woman's remark. "No, it's not, that'd be silly," she almost laughed. Oh, how the Doctor made her laugh. If her heart could beat, it'd have skipped a beat in that moment.

"I'm telling you, it's Doctor Who," the black girl joked again, growing cheerful at the thought of her last adventures with him. "He once told me so."

Clara suppressed a smile. "Never mind, why do you know him?" she asked again, calmer now.

"I travel with him," the other woman said, unable to contain the flow of memories. "Well, travelled. Past tense. It's all over now. And you?"

"I was the same," Clara sighed, feeling that for some reason she could open up to this girl, their common experiences bringing them together. "I used to travel with him in space and time, a long, long time ago."

"Okay, so you must be the one that came before me," the girl considered. "I do have a name, by the way. I'm Bill. Bill Potts. And this is Heather," she said drawing the blonde girl at her side closer to her.

"My name is Clara. And hers is either Me or Ashildr depending on the day and time," Clara replied pointing at her companion.

"Nice introduction. Very funny," Me grumbled, shaking her head.

"How come the Doctor never mentioned you, not even once?" Bill asked, slightly confused.

Clara exhaled forcefully. "He doesn't remember me."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Something happened, and I was erased from the Doctor's memory," Clara explained, heartbroken. "Now he doesn't remember me, not really. Only some facts and figures to keep his other memories in place."

"'Something happened', well that explains everything, then," Bill commented, ironic. Then she noticed the deep pain in Clara's eyes, and felt the urge to apologize. "Sorry. Were you and him...?" she began, not sure how to phrase the question.

Clara gave her an intense look of fury and despair that spoke volumes, but didn't say a word.

Bill averted her eyes, unable to sustain the fierceness of that look, and nodded faintly to herself. When she regain her ability to speak, she added in an attempt to lighten the tone, "Still, the Doctor has always had an eye for the pretty girls, hasn't he?"

Heather grabbed Bill's hand and held it tight. "Oh, don't start," she scolded her, jokingly.

Clara blinked quickly, and the expression of sorrow in her face gave way to a light smile. Bill's liveliness and exuberance reminded her of her banter with the Doctor in a bittersweet way. "Don't worry, Bill," Clara winked at her, "we can have a good flirt later when your girlfriend is not looking."

"Is that a promise, Clara?" she replied, raising the corner of her mouth.

"Stop it!" Heather gave her a nudge at her side.

The girls laughed lightly, then Clara continued. "For now, just tell me where the Doctor is." She took a deep breath. "I need to see him one last time."

Bill became serious again, the whole world collapsing on her shoulders. She would have liked to pretend for a little longer than everything was fine, but the truth had to come out one way or the other. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, lowering her gaze, "I'm really sorry to break this to you, but..."

"What?"

Heather stroke the back of Bill's hand gently, and she found the strength to raise her eyes again to look at Clara. "I'm sorry but the Doctor's dead," she said at once.

"No..." Clara stepped back, shaken. "No, he can't be..."

"I'm so sorry, but he is."

"No, no, you don't understand," Clara burst out, suddenly animated by fear and hope in equal measure. "He can't. He literally  _can't_. He can't die. He regenerates."

"What are you on about?" Bill and Heather shared a confused look.

"When the Doctor is about to die, his body triggers this process, it's called regeneration," Clara revealed quickly. "His body repairs itself, every cell is replaced by a new one, and he changes. He regenerates."

Bill brought a hand to her forehead and looked away, absorbed in her thoughts. "Suppose..." she began saying, "yeah, he mentioned something about regenerating once, I think. Thought it was his usual gibberish." She paused, collecting her memories. "Then there was that time, with the Monks, when he faked his death and sort of burst into flames..."

"That's it," Clara nodded, "that's regeneration. I've seen him do it before."

"He never explained what it was in the end..."

"He never does," Me said.

"... and I spent so many years in that Mondasian spaceship, separated from him," Bill continued. "But I think I've caught a glimpse of his hand... glowing... after he was attacked by a Cyberman..."

"Cybermen?" Clara flinched. "He was killed by Cybermen?" Memories of the last time she had faced those metal devils flashed before her eyes, melting with the grief of losing Danny. Now the Cyberman had stolen the only other person she had left in her life. The most important person.

"It's more complicated than that," Bill said. "He blew up a whole city to kill off the Cybermen." She swallowed. "He sacrificed himself. We brought him back to the TARDIS. He was dead."

"If he had started regenerating..." Clara corrected her, thinking quickly, hoping. "If the process had already begun, then the regeneration energy could have protected him. He must have survived."

"He seemed dead..." Heather stepped in.

"Regeneration is not always a straightforward process," Clara continued, trying to convince them and herself. "He took him a while to regenerate last time."

"You mean he might be still alive!" Bill exclaimed, as if she had just realized the implication of Clara's words. Her lips trembled in emotion, her eyes shined bright in anticipation. Soon she could hug her friend again, and stop feeling guilty for abandoning him.

"He probably is," Clara reassured her, "we just have to find him. How long since you left him?"

Bill turned to Heather for an answer. "Weeks," the blonde woman shrugged, "months maybe. I was just showing Bill around."

"Hey,  _I_  was showing you around," Bill protested.

"He could be anywhere," Me whispered, looking at Clara in concern. "We're never going to find him."

"We can start with the place where you left him, if you remember the coordinates," Clara decided. "It's going to be difficult, but if we team up..."

"No, finding him is easy," Bill interrupted her.

"Like looking for a needle in an infinite universe," Me mumbled, sarcastic.

Bill grinned to herself, then outstretched her hand right in front of her face so that Clara could look directly at it. A few moments later, water drops begun dripping from her fingers. Soon, a stream of water was cascading from Bill's palm and pooling in a puddle at her feet.

"We've got means of tracking the Doctor," Bill smirked. "I've left him my tears."

Clara looked at her in disbelief. "You're not human," she stated, pleasantly surprised.

"Not anymore," Bill confirmed.

"That's what the Doctor does to you..." said Me, reflecting on how meeting the Doctor had transformed her and Clara's existence forever as well.

"So what are we waiting for?" Clara encouraged them to take action. Her head was buzzing with excitement and enthusiasm that she hadn't felt for a very long time. She was about to be reunited with her other half.

Bill retracted her hand and shook off the last drops of water left. "I'll lead the way," she announced.

"And we'll follow you in our spaceship," Clara agreed.

Then they sprang into action. Before immersing in the crowd, Clara grabbed Me's shoulders and stopped her for a second. "I just have to see the Doctor one last time before he changes. I need to say goodbye to my Doctor, to the man I knew."

"I understand," Me nodded, placing her hand over Clara's in consolation.

"And if he's going to regenerate," she continued, "I think it's a good time for me to go as well. It feels right to do it together, like we've done everything else."

"You want to stop. I've know for a while," Me replied.

"I'm ready to go back to Gallifrey after I've said goodbye to the Doctor," Clara said. "Once he's changed his looks and personality, there'll be nothing left for me here."

"Let's go, then," Me encouraged her to proceed despite feeling sad and lonely at the idea of losing Clara, because she knew it was what she wanted.

Together, they run after Bill and Heather. Clara's mouth widened in a silent smile. She was running towards her death, and yet she was feeling happier than she'd ever felt since leaving the Doctor. She was going to have one final adventure with her clever boy, and that was enough. She was at peace.

 

* * *

 

**A/N:**  I hope you enjoyed this fic, and I would love to hear your opinions in the comments. Bill's ending, and the similarities with Clara's departure, inspired me to write this fic. Since they're now both not really human anymore, not aging, and travelling in space and time with immortal companions, I think they're bound to meet each other sooner or later, and this story is how I imagined their first encounter.

(Possible spoilers for the Christmas Special: also, since rumors has it that Clara is returning at Christmas when the Doctor regenerates, I'd love it if she got back through Bill and this was her way to reappear in the show).

Thank you so much for reading.


End file.
